Stoptober 2016 : one year…

one year… one year…

I made a video not to celebrate the event (even though I will!) but to explain how I did it.

So, thank you very much for watching the following video!

In this video I am presenting my own personal experience with Stoptober 2015 and the tools I have used to quit smoking. Please, do remember that you can do it as long as you find your own system, what works for you and you are prepared! Good Luck! You have all my support and I’ll be sending you good vibes the whole month of October!


Any info regarding Stoptober can be found here: https://www.nhs.uk/smokefree/stoptober and on Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/stoptober

You find us here: The Resting Tree: https://www.facebook.com/therestingtreelancs/

Should you need any more info, you have some questions or you would like to book a session with me, please feel free to contact The Resting Tree
via the Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/therestingtreelancs/
via email therestingtreelancs@gmail.com
or via the website https://therestingtreelancs.com/

My previous video about morning ritual : https://youtu.be/Ow7YEAN_IpI
Dandelions Fields Notebooks : http://amzn.to/2cIh5tI
Midori Traveller’s Notebook: http://amzn.to/2btL0cN
Leuchtturm 1917: http://amzn.to/2b6zi7s
Paperchase : http://amzn.to/2cA1ocl
Moleskine Pocket Reporter Ruled Notebook : http://amzn.to/2cIfdBd
Smash Book Eco Green Folio : http://amzn.to/2c6yhwB
Timu Leather Journal – Brown – A5 – by Nkuku : http://amzn.to/2cA4nBg

Thank you for watching!
Matilde Tomat

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A new series: S3 : INITIATIVE

03 MAY 2016

Session THREE: INITIATIVE

As promised, here’s the new video re. the session about INITIATIVE.

We also talked about guilt, and Purpose in Life.

The topic of Purpose in Life (and the sense of having a Mission) is very dear to me, especially during my placement as a trainee chaplain at Chorley and Preston hospitals.

I mention Simon Sinek and his TEDtalk: if you have never heard of him, never saw his video, please do now! I highly recommend it and you can find it here.

And here is the video: enjoy!

A new series: S1 : TRUST

03 : 19 APR 2016

Session ONE : TRUST

As promised, here’s the new video re. the session about TRUST.

Slide15

The links to follow Brené Brown as mentioned in the video are:

  • Anatomy of Trust at SuperSOUL TV here
  • Brené Brown on Amazon.co.uk here

Enjoy the video!

Stoptober 2015: friends & habits

I went to Liverpool to celebrate something important with a couple of close friends. Do you know, those kind of friends who really know you and you really know them; and you can talk and tell stories and they are always there to help you. That kind of friends.

We have known each others for years, years filled of evenings where the three of us spent hours with bottles of white wine, fags and tarot cards.

Sometimes just a text was enough. A text with one word: Kebab?!? which meant, again: food, yes. But especially white wine, fags and tarot cards.

This weekend was different. We have seen each other before, mid October, when I just started Stoptober and I was fuelled and charged up and quitting sounded just so easy.

But this weekend, it was really different: I felt out of my comfort zone, I wasn’t in my house, we also needed to talk and tell each other the ‘last news’ and I also had a pretty sweet story to tell. This meant: white wine and tarot cards. But no fags.

I can tell you that it was difficult. It has been hard, being there with two smokers and not smoke. I could have easily reached out for a cigarette. I had to force myself and ask them to please do not give me one if I caved in and begged for a fag.

Now I am back home and the moment I sat in my car, ready to drive back, I felt protected and the desire to smoke simply disappeared.

I am wondering what’s the ratio: alcohol? smoking friends? out of comfort zone? habits?

I am also thinking: if I stayed there longer, would I have been able to create new smoke-free habits with the ol’friends, or would I have caved in?

The things I am happy about, besides seeing my friends and spending some good time with them, are that of course, in the end, not only I haven’t smoke but I haven’t even asked for a cigarette (!): I didn’t beg, I didn’t plea… and that the moment I went back to my car I was happy to go back to my ‘usual’ smoke-free life. At the same time, I have felt how easy it can be just to lower your boundaries and relapse: still, no cockiness woman! It can be just so easy…

I know a relapse is not the end of the world! But why risk it?

I think I need to focus more (again!) on the WHY I am quitting in order to strengthen my armour… and as per usual, I’ll keep you posted!

Creative Reflective Writing Course

Calling all benevolent lyrical logical outlaws, sing-my-song stringers, masters of curiosity, megalomaniac optimists, dissident holies inhabitants and glotto-libertarians for 8 Thursdays of sacred fun.

At Juice Sustainable Recovery Group in Colne, from THU 16 July 7pm

TRT FYV Juice flier

amazing session: check this out!

Amazing people, so inspiring!

Creating memory boxes during the FOLLOW YOUR heART sessions commissioned and for Juice SRG at INSPIRE Burnley.

*reprinted and published with permission*

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Check also the video below: I got so much energy and good vibes from them, I had to share! BTW, the Jennifer I mention in the video is the lovely & smart & inspiring Jennifer Pastiloff: please check her on http://themanifeststation.net

Thank you for watching, and if you want to know more & get in contact, please do!

an afternoon at Juice, Colne

Sometimes we get cocky… a bit cocky…

I often thought ‘I’m not in recovery’. Because it’s true: I’m a daughter of alcoholic parents and a trainee counsellor, which is different. Or isn’t? It is also true that I love working with people in recovery and if someone sees me with ‘them’, do I mind being associated with (again) ‘them’?

If people are not able to see beyond labels, to see me as a ‘never-addicted’ person, are they worth my attention? And, as much as that previous thought might be true, if I cannot see beyond their past addiction, am I worth their attention?

I have spent hours, days, weeks, months trying to understand my parents’ addiction and to come to terms with their deaths. On the other side of the barricade.

I’m understanding more now, spending an afternoon with these people I am so grateful I had the opportunity to take pictures of, while they are creating something great.

I just wish my parents back then had the same opportunity…

If you wish to know more, come and join me.

If you need a safe island, join them. You can find them at Juice SRG, The Citadel, Colne BB8 0HY.

Thank you, for the lesson I’ve learned…

a conversation with…

… Caroline, who came to mine one evening and we discussed Responsibilities and Addiction.

Both my parents kept on blaming their parents, the State, History, their friends, me and my sister, God above and the whole world, basically. There was always an excuse for not stopping drinking.

Adults, instead, do fully take responsibility. If you scream and shout at me, the choice of how I react lies always in me; whether you scream, or punch, or steal from me… I always have a choice on how to respond. I lose a job, I am made redundant, I get sick, my partner leaves me for greener pastures: I always have a choice on how to react.

It’s the same for Businesses: you don’t perform as you used to do, you have many expectations but still you don’t hit the targets, clients don’t buy from you anymore, your Boss hates you… it’s not a matter of blaming or finding a fault, but instead of taking full conscious responsibility. Unless you still prefer to think that this is due to the Market, bigger Companies, employees who don’t perform as they should, the Credit Crunch, et.

Rationally, sitting down and thinking: was there anything I could have done differently? but especially: how can I move forward?

May I suggest you have a look at “Perfect Daughters” by Robert J. Ackerman p.66 about Integrity vs. Disgust? You are able to find the book here.

Whether you are (unfortunately) an Adult Child of Alcoholic Parents, or in Business but still find the things that keep on happening to you ‘unfair’: it’s all a matter of truly becoming and living as we wish to be.

Sending good vibes, as per usual…

//

Find your Voice at Mill Hill Community Centre

We all need to be listened to, to find our voice, to have time and space to clear our mind and make the best possible decision.

I will be at Mill Hill Community Centre from 4 March, from 2pm till 5pm every Wednesday, to listen to your stories.

These will not be counselling sessions since I am only a trainee counsellor, but still… I will offer you a safe island for you to be able to open up, vent out, talk or even be silent: a space just for you.

Please, reserve your space calling 07576 007363 (2pm, 3pm, 4pm) or call to discuss possible availability of other times and dates.

Fees:

  • 20min : free assessment
  • 1 hour session: £15
  • 10 sessions : £120

trt - FYV flyer