Matilde Tomat, member of BACP
Welcome to The Resting Tree Counselling & Healing Service
“I don’t consider myself a counsellor or a therapist; I see myself more of a facilitator, a catalyst of change. My approach is definitely eclectic.” Eclecticism is defined as “the practice of choosing doctrines from various or divers systems of thought in the formation of a body of acceptable doctrine (…) rather it selects from each its psychologically satisfying doctrines.” (Woolfe, 2000). I also like the notion that it is very real, technical, empirical and somehow atheoretical. But, besides all these definitions, first and foremost, before any labelling, and sitting in front of you, it is going to be me, together with my integrity, my congruence, and my compassion. Eclecticism still has a structure since it is not simply borrowing and stitching together various methodologies and skills; but to me, not pledging allegiance to any particular school nor specific therapeutic dogma, it provides a sense of freedom and autonomy.
There is a quote from a movie I watched lately which somehow summarises the basic concept behind any session: “You’re an emotional jigsaw, you need to piece yourself back together. Start with the corners; and look for the blue bits.” As a catalyst for your change, I “stay with you and your pain”, in a supporting role, while you put those blue bits back together.
Depending on the needs and situations, I might for example use skills from: a) Gestalt (‘unfinished business’ and the ‘here & now’ of the relationship between client and therapist and/or feelings – immediacy – in order to look behind the story and explore what is producing a certain behaviour, such as past conflicts and traumas); and b) TA in order to explore/explain relationship issues where especially co-dependency is shown (the Dreaded Drama Triangle).
I might also suggest trying new forms of expressions (writing, scrap-booking, catharsis exercises and possibly behaviouristic phenomenology, or even mirror work); I try to tune in and mirror body language, verbal language and behaviour during the sessions and pay attention and reflect back to changes in body expression and attitude; I might also mirror and exaggerate feelings, emotions, and behaviours. I do believe in taking theory into the room at times and if appropriate: I strongly believe into treating you as an equal and hence showing intellectual respect.
At the same time, I particularly like to work with Archetypes, attuning to my personal Chirotic and Hermetic energies, which I consider my own gateway to compassion and healing, in order to assist you in finding your true and individual purpose and to provide you with a safe space for you to strengthen your sense of inner balance. I like to explore the various depths of the subconscious and universal mind, using at times even tools such as images or Tarot Arcana to ease imagery, insights and inner clarity. It is not the image itself which is important, but the reaction we have to same. There, it’s where the authentic exploration really begins. Of course, when working with imagery, there is no prediction, fortune telling or clairvoyance since you, as a client, have already all the answers within you; what you need is just that time and safe space to explore possibilities, options and potentials. And the roots of your pain. Images are just a different form of language using a diverse set of symbols, keywords; and representing archetypes, correspondences, correlative thoughts which might assist us into seeing our life as a Fool’s Journey. Using images during the sessions provides hence a map, without mistaking that said map for the terrain (our free mind).
As a trainee chaplain, I am not scared in bringing spirituality into the sessions if issues of trust, hope and faith in the future might show an indication that exploring beliefs could be of help; and this is not limited to any form of organised religion; but on a purely spiritual level. Should I have to define my approach with just one word, as a practising Nichiren Buddhist, I would use the word Kyo (literally vibration, voice, sutra) but which encompasses the Oneness of the Mind (Therapy), Oneness of the Body (Action) and Oneness of the Environment (Relations, starting for the one-to-one relationship between therapist and client, which is assessed and explored as a possible mirror of external relationships and needs). The word Kyo also includes both the latent and manifested expressions of the Self, which are the basis of therapy. In my work with clients in addiction, as in my personal journey of discovery as a Wounded Healer, I have noticed the need for meaning and purpose, and to make sense of the Why behind Life; I have observed the absolute fear in making choices and how frightening the whole concept of freedom can be; how difficult it is to start taking responsibilities; how crippling self-doubting our capacities of discerning right from wrong is; how necessary it is to learn from experience, and how learning is always connected to relationships. This is somehow existentialism in a nutshell: in this sense, I strive to see you as ‘flesh and bone’ and not just ‘mind’; always as freely choosing beings, as subjects and not objects, as an undividable whole which does not belong to me.
In order to achieve this, I promise you I will be congruent, authentic, at times challenging (I know…) but still genuine; and at all times within the boundaries of my profession, because it is within those well-defined boundaries that your healing towards a self-reliant, autonomous, and self-actualised beautiful You, can take place.
As a member of the BACP I do abide by and deeply believe in its Ethical Framework in working with you, for your own wellness, at your pace, and within those well-defined boundaries, creating a safe island where healing can take place. I am fully insured, supervised (both on a one-to-one basis and also within a group supervision), I am E – CRB checked, and I do respect my own Continuing Professional Development.
I do work on a one-to-one basis, at home, mainly mornings since my afternoons are mostly spent in a private clinic where I work with people in recovery from substance abuse or volunteering in Lancashire for a registered charity as part of my pro-bono activity. For anyone who is interested, I do offer outdoor counselling and hence assisting you in exploring your story and pain while immersing in nature (fees to be agreed depending on location).
Working with / towards:
I have noticed during my experience that I tend to be found by clients who need to:
- – become more energetic
- – work on that deep-rooted sense of loneliness, sadness, anguish and heartache, emotional pain and weight they are carrying around within them
- – let go of emotional pain (especially within families where there is/was addiction)
- – release addiction, including smoking
- – work towards a personalised Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP)
- – explore and manage anger
- – heal the past / childhood trauma (including physical and sexual violence)
- – heal a relationship (birth family, marriage, work)
- – understand the difference between temporal and everlasting happiness
- – explore and work with the inner child
- – go through a divorce or break-up
- – connect to a higher purpose / meaning / significance
- – ease grieve / bereavement / discuss and explore the significance of Death
- – facilitate one’s own passing
- – feel more in touch with the Divine / sense of divine
- – practice mindfulness and awareness
- – understand / cope / live with anxiety and panic attacks
- – assistance while going through a phase of emotional (fertile) emptiness, transitions, menopause, crisis (spiritual and not)
- – explore in various ways Erikson’s stages of psycho-social development
Training, Qualifications & Experience:
- L4 Diploma in Therapeutic Counselling – CPCAB
- L3 Certificate in Counselling Studies – CPCAB
- L2 Certificate in Counselling Skills – CPCAB
- Grade 1 – Nichiren Buddhism
- RRR – Recovery Coach
- Celebrate Recovery Leaders Training (with John Baker)
- 12 Steps : Christian, Buddhist, Zen, Mindfulness
- Perfect Daughters – Adult Daughters of Alcoholics
- MindMapping for Happiness
- Branding & Lovemarks : a new you
- Art Therapy, Journalling, Scrapbooking
- Quality Decision Making
- Therapeutic Journalling
- Public Speaking
- Trainee Chaplain – course sponsored by the Buddhist Healthcare Chaplaincy Group including hospital placement hours
- In-house L1 – Eating Disorders
- In-house L2 – Eating Disorders
Fees per 50 therapeutic minutes (fees as Jun 2018)
£40 adults – first session: £25 which includes free initial consultation
Adults: 1 free session when pre-booking a series of 10 (total of £345)
£25 students with proof of attendance for the course (max 10 hours)
I do only work with adults and only on a one-to-one basis when in private practice – unless agreed differently with the client.
I see clients only if they have previously pre-booked the session.
I am available to be booked for week-end workshops or group work.
For any information or to book a session, please call 07576 007363 or send an email to email@example.com